Dude, I'm returning my Dell!

All I ever really needed to know I learned from reading a blog. Or some forwarded email spam. You know, floss, wear sunscreen, all that stuff you don't really think about until you hit 30. And this is my little corner of the web, where for only the basic cost of monthly bandwidth, I can share my hard earned wisdom with the world:

Look both ways, and use your x-ray vision to scan for any red lights behind buildings before crossing any street in Westwood... If you're going to imprison people of Middle Eastern descent without regard for the fourth amendment, try not to pick on the ones with American friends who make webpages... and sometimes even my own version of Martha Stewart domesticity, How to turn those extra Arrowhead water bottles into stylish and decorative modern furniture.

But seriously. This is the age of information. There's lots of wisdom to be found in this pop-culture morass of a free press, and the very best and most helpful thing I can offer to you is this piece of advice.

DON'T BUY A DELL. Really. Just don't. If you're seriously considering it, why don't you take a quick look through Dell's support forums. I just added my own comments today, on the sixth page of only one of many threads that are popping up, devoted to how amazingly poorly manufactured the new Dell Inspiron 8500 laptop is.

Go see it quick, I'm sure that the moderators won't leave it up for very long.

Guys,

I just got my i8500 last week, and I was really astounded by how bad the keyboard / trackpad design and quality were. This was to be my third Dell - the first one caught on fire, and the refurb replacement they sent me lasted all of four months before the touchpad stopped working. So against the better advice of my friends and coworkers, I bought another Dell.

Four days of phone and email tag with support later, I have an RMA number. It's going back tomorrow, and I couldn't be happier to get rid of the thing.

Folks, if enough of these machines get returned, Dell will have to do something about the quality. I'd urge anyone who is waiting for a solution to be careful. If they don't even have an official support response to this problem, I can promise you that they won't have a hardware fix ready to send out to you before your 30 day satisfaction guarantee expires.

We got $uckered. We paid $3000 for a laptop that's so low quality you need an external keyboard and mouse. At least the screen is pretty, eh? Good software package, too - just too bad nobody can type on the thing.

For $3000, nobody should have to wedge sticky tape under the keyboard.

--Lorna

The very most amusing thing about this is that my initial post was rejected, due to having the word "suckered" in the post: "Message Body: Message body contains invalid content. Please do not use profanity in your post. Profanity is not tolerated on these boards. (Word: suck)"

Dell filters out the word suckers!

I don't know why I didn't get something else after my first Dell caught on fire during shipping week. Maybe I'm just stupidly optimistic. But after the third incident, my friends are losing sympathy for me. I've lost the right to even complain about having to listen to the Alan Parsons Project while waiting on for hours on hold for support, or having to pay for the return shipping, despite the fact that the product is so low quality - everyone I try to whine to just shakes their heads and say "Why on earth did you buy another Dell? After the last one? And then the one before that? Why don't you get a ThinkPad? Or a nice Vaio?"

So that's it. No more Dells for me. The Inspiron 8500, squooshy keyboard and all, will be sent back to meet its maker. It's comforting to know that my suffering hasn't been entirely in vain: at least the people I care about most won't be buying any Dells, either.

posted by Lorna Brown at 4:20 AM